


Let Me Die; Make Me Live

by peachii_tokkii



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Angst, Depression, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Minor Bang Chan/Kim Woojin, Minor Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Minor Hwang Hyunjin/Yang Jeongin | I.N, References to Depression, Self-Harm, Shy Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Soft Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Soft Seo Changbin, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 17:09:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17564591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachii_tokkii/pseuds/peachii_tokkii
Summary: "I want you to let me fucking die!"orChangbin finds Felix sitting on the railing of a bridge and they keep running into eachother after that





	1. 01

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I want you to let me fucking die already"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings  
> \- Implied suicide attempt  
> \- Cursing / Strong language

   "Don't touch me." 

  The words were like acid coming off his tongue. Changbin retracted his hand from where it previously sat on the others shoulder. 

   "I just want to make sure you're okay." Changbin said slowly. 

   "Well I'm fine." 

   That was a lie, obviously. If he was okay like he said, then he wouldn't be sitting on the railing of a bridge ready to jump off.

   "If you're fine then do you want to get off there?" Changbin tried, and had been trying for the past half hour, to get the other off the bridge. 

   "No." The edges of his lips turned down even further, "I want you let me fucking die already." 

   Changbin didn't know who this kid was, but he sure as hell wasn't going to let him die. So before he could do anything more, Changbin stepped forward and wrapped his arms around the others body. 

   "What the hell!" The boy yelled. 

   The boy tried to struggle out of Changbin's grip, but Changbin just hugged the boy harder. 

   "I'm not letting go until you're off the railing." 

   The boy let out an angry sigh. 

   "Fine but let go of me first." 

   A smile spread onto Changbin's face as he let the other go. He slowly slipped off the railing and back onto the ground. 

   "Now leave me alone." 

   That was all the boy had said before pushing Changbin to the side and walking away off the bridge. 

   "I never even got his name" Changbin sighed to himself.


	2. 02

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changbin sees a familiar mop of blonde hair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No chapter warning

   Changbin didn't know how much time had gone by since he'd met the boy on the bridge, but he never once left Changbin's mind. It's kind of hard to forget someone you had found about to commit suicide. 

   Changbin had tried to find out who the boy was. He'd ask his classmates if they knew a boy with blonde hair and freckles, but much to his dissappointment, they always would say no. 

   So Changbin had almost given up on looking for the boy. Almost.

   It was just another day in the life of a broke college student. ChangBin had been sitting in the corner of the library, sipping his coffee and reading over his textbook when a mop of blonde hair walking by caught his attention. Changbin's eyes fluttered away from the pages of his textbook and up to a familiar boy. He was just walking by, holding a few books in his arms, but Changbin had almost never been more shocked to see someone before. 

   The boy, name still unknown to Changbin, sat down a few tables away. He opened one of the many books he had been holding and started reading it.

   Changbin stared at him for a moment, not really believing that he was really there, before standing up. He walked over to the boy and stood in front of him. The boy didn't look up from his book until Changbin cleared his throat to catch the boys attention. 

   As the boys head lifted to look at Changbin his eyes widened in surprise.

   Changbin brought his hand up to scratch the back if his neck. 

   "I never got your name." He said a bit awkwardly.

   The boy only continued to stare at him with his eyes comically big and mouth slightly open. 

   A few seconds later and the boy seemed to snap out of it. He shut his book and grabbed the other few from the table. 

   "I don't want you to know my name." He said before standing up and walking away.

   Changbin watched him walk out of the library. He let out a groan and walked back to his table to continue studying. 

   He couldn't get those freckles out of his head.


	3. 03

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so Changbin learns the name of the freckled boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No chapter warning

   The third time Changbin ever saw the freckled boy again was where he least expected it. 

   Changbin had been lazing around his apartment room doing nothing worth while, so when his friend, Jisung, texted him asking if he wanted to hang out, he jumped at the opportunity.

\- 

**Han.JS**  
  Ay bro wanna meet up

**SpearMint**  
  Sure I'm hella bored

**Han.JS**  
   My other friend is coming too

**Han.JS**  
   I don't think y'all know eachother  
but he's nice so ull like him

**SpearMint**  
   It's cool. I just wanna get out

**Han.JS**  
   Spicy

**Han.JS**  
   meet at that one cafe downtown

**SpearMint**  
   Be there in 10

-

   Changbin got out of bed and put on an old sweatshirt for some band he didn't know, grabbed his wallet, and started his journey to meet Jisung. 

   It was a short walk through the city before he reached the cafe. It was small and hidden behind another building. Most people would miss it if it weren't for the bright decorations. 

   Changbin walked inside and looked around for Jisung. He looked to the corner of the cafe and saw Jisung and his friend sitting at a small booth. He couldn't see Jisungs friends face but he could see his messy, dark brown hair. He walked over to the two and waved when Jisung finally noticed him. 

   "Changbinnie!" Jisung yelled grabbing Changbin's hand and pulling him into a seat. 

   "This is Felix." Jisung said pointing to the brunette. 

   When Changbin and the boy, now known as Felix, made eye contact both of their eyes widened. They stared at eachother for for a few seconds,  not saying anything. 

   Jisung looked between the two noticing their stares. 

   "Do you two know eachother already?" Jisung asked with arched brows. 

   "I- I guess you could say that." ChangBin stuttered out. 

   A smile spread onto Jisungs face. 

   "That's great! Now you two catch up while I go get us something to drink." Jisung said before standing up and walking away.

   Felix continued to stare at Changbin with a surprised look on his face. A minuet of awkward staring later, and Changbin decided to break the silence.

   "So you dyed your hair." 

   Felix blinked and seemed to snap out of whatever he was thinking.

   "Yeah... I did." 

The two stared at eachother for a few more seconds before Felix abruptly stood up. 

"I think I should go. I have homework and stuff." Felix said shortly before grabbing his bag And walking past Changbin. 

Changbin's eyes widened and he turned around to try and grab Felix's arm, but he was already out of his reach. Felix walked out of the cafe and out of view. Changbin stood there and stared, hoping Felix would come back. He didn't. 

Jisung came back, trying his best to hold three drinks, only to realize that Felix wasn't there. 

"Where's felix?" He asked with a small pout. 

Changbin sighed and scratched his neck. 

"He left."

Jisung shrugged and sat down. 

"So how'd you two meet?" He asked. 

Changbin sat down across from Jisung and took a sip of his drink. 

"Just on the street some night."


	4. 04

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix finds himself on the same bridge, only this time he had someone there with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No chapter warning

   "Give me Felix's number" 

   Jisung looked at Changbin with big eyes. 

   "Do what now?" Jisung asked after taking a sip of his coffee. 

   Changbin huffed not wanting to repeat his question. 

   "I want Felix's number..." His voice trailed off.

   Jisung let out a chuckle before taking Changbin's phone and making a new contact.

\- 

   The stillness of the night was comforting to Felix in a way. Knowing that everyone else was asleep in their houses made him feel like he was the only person that existed. 

   It was two am, and Felix once again found himself on the same bridge as a few weeks ago. Only this time he was standing on the correct side of the railing with no plans to jump over. He stared off into the water below him, and let out a sigh. 

   He felt his phone buzz quietly in his hoodie pocket. 

-

 **Unknown Number**  
  Hi it's Changbin

 **Unknown Number**  
  Jisung gave me your number

-

   Felix scoffed as he read the messages. Why can't this guy just leave him alone? He put his phone back into his pocket before he felt another buzz a few seconds later. 

-

 **Changbin**  
  We should get to know eachother

-

   Trying his best to ignore the smile that tugged at the corners of his lips, Felix switched off notifications, and put his phone away. He stared back out to the water. He heard foot steps click against the ground behind him. 

   Felix turned his head slightly to view the person walking by. To his surprise he saw a familiar face illuminated by a phone screen. 

   "Changbin?" Felix said barely loud enough for himself to hear. 

   Immediately Changbin's eyes snapped away from his phone screen, and to the blonde boy. For a few seconds the other just stared at Felix looking a bit confused. 

   "Oh my god, Felix?" Changbin started walking towards the younger. "Why are you out so late?" 

   Out of instinct, Felix started playing with the hem of his sweatshirt, and pulled the sleeves further over his hands. If Changbin noticed, he said nothing.

   "I wanted some air..." 

   "You weren't going to..." Changbin didn't want to finish his sentence, afraid that he could be right.

   "No, I'm just enjoying the, um, scenery." He motioned weakly towards the water.

After nodding his head shortly, Changbin walked next to Felix, and leaned against the bridge railing. The other just stared confused at him. Eventually Felix's eyes found their way to the water as well. 

Minuets passed before either spoke, the silence awkward but calm. 

"I still think we should get to know eachother." Changbin suddenly said.

The freckles boy's eyes fluttered over to look at the elder, and an almost unnoticeable smile pulled at his lips.

"Sure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not updating in so long! I've been struggling with the storyline of this book a bit, and have been trying to sort it out a bit more. I'll try to update again soon, loves


End file.
